Wolemba Amuna Oletsa Chiwawa

    Bungwe la Emerge Center Lotsutsana ndi Utsogoleri Wankhanza M'banja potengera zokumana nazo za azimayi akuda pa Mwezi Wodziwitsa Zachiwawa M'banja zimatilimbikitsa ku Men Stopping Violence.

    Cecelia Jordan's Chilungamo Chikuyamba Kumene Chiwawa Kwa Amayi Akuda Chimatha - yankho kwa a Caroline Randall Williams ' Thupi Langa ndi Chipilala cha Confederate - imapereka malo owopsa poyambira.

    Kwa zaka 38, Men Stopping Violence yagwira ntchito mwachindunji ndi abambo ku Atlanta, Georgia komanso mdziko lonse kuti athetse nkhanza za abambo kwa amayi. Zomwe takumana nazo zatiphunzitsa kuti palibe njira yopita patsogolo popanda kumvera, kunena zoona komanso kuyankha.

    Mu Batterer Intervention Program (BIP) tikufuna kuti amuna atchule mwatsatanetsatane machitidwe owongolera komanso ozunza omwe agwiritsa ntchito komanso zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha anzawo, ana, komanso madera. Sitichita izi kuti tichititse manyazi amuna. M'malo mwake, tikupempha amuna kuti adziyang'anire okha kuti aphunzire njira zatsopano zakukhalira mdziko lapansi ndikupanga magulu otetezeka kwa onse. Taphunzira kuti - kwa amuna - kuyankha ndi kusintha pamapeto pake kumabweretsa miyoyo yokhutiritsa. Monga tikunenera mkalasi, sungasinthe mpaka utatchula dzina.

    Timaperekanso mwayi womvera m'makalasi athu. Amuna amaphunzira kumva mawu azimayi powunikiranso zolemba ngati zokopa za belu ' Kufuna Kusintha ndi makanema ngati Aisha Simmons ' Ayi! Zolemba Zogwirira. Amuna amayesetsa kumvetsera popanda kuyankha pamene akupatsana ndemanga. Sitikufuna kuti amuna azigwirizana ndi zomwe zikunenedwa. M'malo mwake, abambo amaphunzira kumvera kuti amvetsetse zomwe winayo akunena ndikuwonetsa ulemu.

    Popanda kumvera, titha bwanji kumvetsetsa zakukhudzidwa kwa zomwe timachita kwa ena? Kodi tingaphunzire bwanji momwe tingachitire zinthu zomwe zimaika patsogolo chitetezo, chilungamo, ndi kuchiritsa?

    Mfundo zomwezi zakumvera, kunena zoona komanso kuyankha mlandu zimagwiranso ntchito pagulu komanso pagulu la anthu. Amagwiritsanso ntchito kuthetsa kusankhana mitundu komanso anti-Mdima monganso momwe amachitira pothetsa nkhanza zapabanja komanso zogonana. Nkhanizo ndizophatikizana.

    In Chilungamo Chikuyamba Kumene Chiwawa Kwa Amayi Akuda Chimatha, Mayi Jordan amalumikiza madontho pakati pa kusankhana mitundu komanso nkhanza zapakhomo komanso zachiwerewere.

    Mayi Jordan akutitsutsa kuti tizindikire ndikufukula "zotsalira za ukapolo ndi ukoloni" zomwe zimakhudza malingaliro athu, zochita zathu za tsiku ndi tsiku, maubale, mabanja, ndi machitidwe. Zikhulupiriro zachikolonizi - "zipilano zophatikizana" izi zomwe zimanena kuti anthu ena ali ndi ufulu wolamulira ena ndikutenga matupi awo, chuma chawo, ngakhale moyo wawo mwakufuna kwawo - ndizo zimayambitsa nkhanza kwa amayi, azungu, komanso odana ndi Mdima. 

    Kusanthula kwa Akazi a Jordan kukugwirizana ndi zomwe takumana nazo zaka 38 tikugwira ntchito ndi amuna. M'makalasi mwathu, sitiphunzira kumvera kuchokera kwa amayi ndi ana. Ndipo, mkalasi mwathu, ife omwe ndife oyera osapatsidwa mwayi wopezeka chidwi, kugwira ntchito, ndi kugonjera anthu akuda komanso anthu akuda. Amuna ndi azungu amaphunzira ufuluwu kuchokera mdera lawo komanso zikhalidwe zomwe zimawonetsedwa ndi mabungwe azungu achimuna.

    Akazi a Jordan akufotokoza zowononga, zakusokonekera kwamasiku ano zakugonana komanso kusankhana mitundu azimayi akuda. Amalumikiza ukapolo komanso mantha omwe azimayi akuda amakumana nawo masiku ano, ndipo akuwonetsa momwe kutsutsana ndi Mdima kumakhudzira machitidwe athu, kuphatikiza malamulo amilandu, m'njira zomwe zimasokoneza ndikuyika pachiwopsezo azimayi akuda.

    Izi ndi zowonadi zovuta kwa ambiri a ife. Sitikufuna kukhulupirira zomwe mayi Jordan akunena. M'malo mwake, ndife ophunzitsidwa komanso ochezeka kuti tisamumvere iye ndi mawu ena azimayi akuda. Koma, pagulu pomwe azungu azolamulira komanso odana ndi Mdima amalepheretsa mawu a akazi akuda, tifunika kumvera. Mukumvera, timayang'ana kuti tiphunzire njira yakutsogolo.

    Monga a Jordan alemba, "Tidziwa momwe chilungamo chimawonekera tikadziwa kukonda anthu akuda, makamaka azimayi akuda… Tangoganizirani dziko lomwe akazi akuda amachiritsa ndikupanga machitidwe olungama achilimbikitso ndi kuyankha. Ingoganizirani mabungwe omwe ali ndi anthu omwe amalonjeza kuti azichita nawo ziwembu pomenyera ufulu wakuda ndi chilungamo, ndikudzipereka kuti amvetsetse maziko olimba andale zamasamba. Tangoganizirani, kwa nthawi yoyamba m'mbiri, tikukuitanidwa kuti timalize kukonzanso. ”

    Monga momwe timachitira m'makalasi athu a BIP ndi amuna, kuwerengera mbiri yakale yadziko lathu yovulaza azimayi akuda ndiye choyambitsa kusintha. Kumvetsera, kunena zowona komanso kuyankha mlandu ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti chilungamo chichiritsidwe, makamaka kwa iwo omwe avulala kwambiri kenako, pamapeto pake, kwa tonsefe.

    Sitingathe kuzisintha mpaka titazipatsa dzina.