强奸文化和家庭虐待

               Williams' timely and vulnerable exposé on her own family history reminds us that gendered and racial subordination have always gone hand in hand.威廉姆斯（Williams）在自己的家族史上及时而脆弱的经历使我们想起，性别和种族从属始终密不可分。 If we want to confront either, we must confront both.如果我们想面对任何一个，我们都必须面对。 A part of doing that is recognizing that there are very这样做的一部分是要认识到 标准化 objects and practices that litter our daily lives today in America that continue to support rape culture.对象和做法，今天在美国的日常生活中乱扔，继续支持强奸文化。 This isn't about statues, Williams reminds us, but about how we want to collectively relate to the historical practices of domination that justify and normalize sexual violence.威廉姆斯提醒我们，这不关雕像，而是关乎我们如何与统治性行为的历史做法集体联系起来，这种行为使性暴力合法化和正常化。

               Take for example, the romantic comedy, in which the rejected boy goes to heroic lengths to win the affections of the girl who is not interested in him—overcoming her resistance in the end with a grand romantic gesture.以浪漫喜剧为例，其中被拒绝的男孩竭尽全力赢得了对他不感兴趣的女孩的感情，最终以一种浪漫的姿态克服了她的抵抗。 Or the ways that boys are lifted up for having sex, whatever the cost.或是男孩为性生活而提起的方式，无论付出多少代价。 Indeed, the traits that we often ingrain into young boys every day, connected to long-standing ideas about “real men,” are the inevitable foundation for rape culture.确实，我们每天经常根植于年轻男孩的特征，与关于“真实男人”的长期观念相关，是强奸文化的必然基础。

               The implicit, often unexamined, set of values contained in the cultural code to “man up” are a part of an environment in which men are trained to disconnect from and devalue feelings, to glorify force and winning, and to viciously police each other's ability to replicate these norms.文化规范中隐含的，通常未经检验的一套价值观，即“抬高男人”是环境的一部分，在这个环境中，人们受过训练，可以与他人脱节和贬低他们的感情，美化力量和胜利，并恶毒地互相监督对方的能力复制这些规范。 Substituting my own sensitivity to the experience of others (and my own) with the mandate to win and get mine is how I learned to become a man.我学会了如何成为一个男人，从而以自己对他人（和我自己）的经历的敏感性代替了赢得和获得我的使命。 Normalized practices of domination link the story that Williams tells to the customs that are present today when a 3-year old little boy is humiliated by the adult he loves for crying when he feels pain, fear, or compassion: “boys don't cry” (boys discard feelings).规范化的统治行为将威廉姆斯讲述的故事与当今的习俗联系起来，当一个XNUMX岁的小男孩因自己的痛苦，恐惧或同情而哭泣时，大人因他爱哭泣的成年人而羞辱他：“男孩不哭”（男孩舍弃了感情）。

              However, the movement to end the glorification of domination is growing, too.但是，结束统治荣耀的运动也在增长。 In Tucson, on a given week, across 17 area schools and at the Juvenile Detention Center, nearly 60 trained, adult men from across communities sit down to participate in group talking circles with around 200 teenaged boys as a part of the work of Boys to Men Tucson.在图森，在指定的一周内，遍及XNUMX个地区学校和青少年拘留中心，来自各个社区的近XNUMX名受过训练的成年男子坐下来与大约XNUMX个十几岁的男孩一起参加小组讨论圈，作为“男孩们”工作的一部分。男人图森。 For many of these boys, this is the only place in their life where it's safe to let down their guard, to tell the truth about how they are feeling, and to ask for support.对于这些男孩中的许多男孩来说，这是他们一生中唯一可以放下警惕，说出自己的真实感受并寻求支持的地方。 But these sorts of initiatives need to gain much more traction from all parts of our community if we are to replace rape culture with a culture of consent that promotes safety and justice for all.但是，如果我们要以促进所有人安全与正义的同意文化取代强奸文化，则这些举措需要在我们社区的各个方面获得更多的关注。 We need your help expanding this work.我们需要您的帮助来扩展这项工作。

            25月26日，28日和XNUMX日，Boys to Men Tucson与Emerge，亚利桑那大学和专门的社区团体结成伙伴关系，共同举办了一个突破性的论坛，旨在组织我们的社区，为青少年男孩和男性提供更好的替代选择。确定的青年。 This interactive event will take a deep dive into the forces that structure masculinity and emotional well-being for the young people in Tucson.这项互动活动将深入探究为图森年轻人提供男性气质和情感幸福感的力量。 This is a key space where your voice and your support can help us make a huge difference in the type of culture that exists for the next generation when it comes to gender, equality, and justice.这是一个关键的空间，您的声音和支持可以帮助我们在涉及性别，平等和正义的下一代文化类型方面产生巨大变化。 We invite you to join us for this practical step towards cultivating a community in which safety and justice are the norm, rather than the exception.我们邀请您加入我们，为建设一个以安全和正义为准则而非例外的社会而采取的实际步骤。 For more information on the forum, or to register to attend, please visit有关论坛的更多信息，或注册参加，请访问 www.btmtucson.com/masculinityforum2020.

              This is just one example of the large-scale movement to cultivate love's resistance to ordinary cultural systems of domination.这只是大规模运动培养爱对普通文化统治系统的抵抗力的一个例子。 Abolitionist Angela Davis characterized this shift best when she turned the serenity prayer on its head, asserting, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change.废奴主义者安吉拉·戴维斯（Angela Davis）最好地形容这种转变，当她转过头去祈祷时说：“我不再接受无法改变的事情。 I am changing the things I cannot accept.”我正在改变我无法接受的事情。” As we reflect on the impact of domestic and sexual violence in our communities this month, may we all have the courage and resolve to follow her lead.当我们反思本月家庭暴力和性暴力对我们社区的影响时，也许我们所有人都有勇气和决心跟随她的领导。