Ngabantu Abamisa Udlame

    Isikhungo i-Emerge Centre Against Domestic Abuse ekugxileni kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabesifazane abaMnyama phakathi neNyanga Yokuqwashisa Ngodlame Lwasekhaya kuyasikhuthaza eMen Stopping Violence.

    UCecelia Jordan's Kuqala Ubulungiswa Lapho Kuphela Udlame Olubhekiswe Kwabesifazane Abamnyama - impendulo kuCaroline Randall Williams ' Umzimba Wami Uyisikhumbuzo se-Confederate - inikeza indawo esabekayo ukuqala.

    Sekuyiminyaka engama-38, abesilisa abamisa udlame basebenze ngqo nabesilisa e-Atlanta, Georgia nasezweni lonke ukuqeda udlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane. Isipiliyoni sethu sisifundise ukuthi ayikho indlela eya phambili ngaphandle kokulalela, ukukhuluma iqiniso nokuziphendulela.

    Ohlelweni lwethu lweBatterer Intervention Program (BIP) sidinga ukuthi abesilisa babhale ngemininingwane eqondile yokuziphatha okulawulayo nokuhlukumeza abakusebenzisile kanye nemiphumela yalokho kuziphatha kozakwethu, ezinganeni nasemiphakathini. Asikwenzi lokhu ukuhlazisa amadoda. Esikhundleni salokho, sicela amadoda ukuthi azibheke angagxili ekufundeni izindlela ezintsha zokuba semhlabeni nokwakha imiphakathi ephephe kubo bonke. Sifunde ukuthi - kwabesilisa - ukuziphendulela kanye noshintsho ekugcineni kuholela ezimpilweni ezanelisayo. Njengoba sisho ekilasini, awukwazi ukuyishintsha uze uyiqambe igama.

    Siphinde sibeke phambili ukulalela emakilasini ethu. Abesilisa bafunda ukuzwa amazwi abesifazane ngokucabanga ngama-athikili afana nezingwegwe zensimbi ' Intando Yokushintsha namavidiyo afana no-Aisha Simmons ' CHA! Idokhumentari Yokudlwengula. Abesilisa bazijwayeza ukulalela ngaphandle kokuphendula njengoba benikezana impendulo. Asidingi ukuthi amadoda avumelane nalokho okushiwoyo. Esikhundleni salokho, amadoda afunda ukulalela ukuze aqonde okushiwo omunye umuntu futhi akhombise inhlonipho.

    Ngaphandle kokulalela, sizokwazi kanjani ukuqonda ngokugcwele imiphumela yezenzo zethu kwabanye? Sizokufunda kanjani ukuqhubeka ngezindlela ezibeka phambili ukuphepha, ubulungiswa, nokwelashwa?

    Le migomo efanayo yokulalela, ukukhuluma iqiniso nokuziphendulela iyasebenza emphakathini nasemphakathini. Zisebenza ekuqedeni ukucwasana ngokohlelo nokulwa nobumnyama njengoba nje benza ekuqedeni udlame lwasekhaya nolwezocansi. Izinkinga zihlangene.

    In Kuqala Ubulungiswa Lapho Kuphela Udlame Olubhekiswe Kwabesifazane Abamnyama, Nks. Jordan uxhuma amachashazi phakathi kokucwasana ngokobuhlanga nobudlova basekhaya nobulili.

    UNks. Jordan usiphonsela inselelo yokuthi sikhombe futhi sigubhe “izinsalela zobugqila namakoloni” ezifaka imicabango yethu, izenzo zansuku zonke, ubudlelwano, imindeni kanye nezinhlelo. Lezi zinkolelo zamakholoni - lezi "zivumelwano ezihlanganisiwe" eziqinisekisa ukuthi abanye abantu banelungelo lokulawula abanye futhi bathathe imizimba yabo, izinsizakusebenza, ngisho nokuphila ngokuthanda kwabo - yimbangela yodlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane, ubukhulu babamhlophe, kanye nokulwa nobumnyama. 

    Ukuhlaziywa kukaNks Jordan kuhambisana neminyaka yethu engama-38 yokusebenza sisebenza namadoda. Emakilasini ethu, asifundile ilungelo lokulalelwa ngabesifazane nezingane. Futhi, emakilasini ethu, thina esingabamhlophe asifundile ilungelo lokunakwa, ukusebenza, nokuzithoba kwabantu abaMnyama kanye nabantu bebala. Abesilisa nabelungu bafunda leli lungelo emphakathini nasezinkambisweni zomphakathi ezenziwe zangabonakali yizikhungo ezisebenza ngezintshisekelo zabesilisa abamhlophe.

    UNks. Jordan uchaza ngemiphumela ebuhlungu, yanamuhla yokucwaswa ngokobulili ezikhungweni nokucwasana kwabantu besifazane abamnyama. Uxhumanisa ubugqila nokwesaba abesifazane abamnyama ababhekana nakho ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabantu namuhla, futhi ukhombisa ukuthi ukulwa nobumnyama kungena kanjani ezinhlelweni zethu, kufaka phakathi uhlelo lwezomthetho lobugebengu, ngezindlela ezibeka phansi futhi zibeke engcupheni abesifazane abamnyama.

    Lawa ngamaqiniso anzima kwabaningi bethu. Asifuni ukukukholwa okushiwo nguNkz Jordan. Eqinisweni, siqeqeshiwe futhi sihlangana nabantu ukuze singamlaleli yena namanye amazwi abesifazane besifazane abamnyama. Kepha, emphakathini lapho ukuphakama kwabamhlophe nokulwa nobumnyama kubeka phansi amazwi abesifazane abamnyama, sidinga ukulalela. Ekulaleleni, sibheke ukuthi sifunde indlela eya phambili.

    Njengoba uNks. Jordan ebhala, “Sizokwazi ukuthi ubulungiswa bunjani lapho sazi ukuthanda abantu abaNsundu, futhi ikakhulukazi abesifazane abaMnyama… Ake ucabange umhlaba lapho abesifazane abaNsundu belapha futhi bakhe izindlela zokulunga kanye nokuziphendulela. Ake ucabange izikhungo ezakhiwe ngabantu abazibophezela ukuthi bazoba ngababambisene nabo ekulweleni inkululeko nobulungiswa babamnyama, futhi bazibophezele ekuqondeni isisekelo esigqinsiwe sepolitiki yamasimu. Cabanga, okokuqala ngqa emlandweni, simenyelwa ukuqedela ukwakhiwa kabusha. ”

    Njengakwezifundo zethu ze-BIP nabesilisa, ukubheka ngomlando wezwe lethu wokulimaza abesifazane abaMnyama kuyisandulela sokushintsha. Ukulalela, ukukhuluma iqiniso nokuziphendulela kuyizidingo ezidingekayo ngaphambi kobulungiswa nokuphulukiswa, okokuqala kulabo abalimele kakhulu bese kuthi ekugcineni kube yithi sonke.

    Asikwazi ukukushintsha size sikubize ngegama.